lately, god has been allowing me to let him to be my everything. finding full satisfaction in Him. not just saying it, but believing and living out this full satisfaction in Jesus. for any of you who know me, this is a big deal. one of my biggest heart's desires is to meet my husband. get married. do ministry together. live life together. to meet the man that the lord created for me. i started becoming envious of couples who had been fortunate enough to meet their husbands. i had to bring this to the lord over and over again. was almost becoming an obsession. so my prayer was
(and still is) lord bring me my husband. please. you know the desires of my heart, so how come i am 24 and still not know him? over and over again this was my prayer. I also prayed that the lord would open my heart to what he wants to show me,
without me even asking the lord to show me this specific thing, he did. god is good. he has brought me on this road of discovering full satisfaction in Him and him alone! for real. (to be honest, i was actually afraid to pray that the lord would bring me full satisfaction in Him, because I thought if I did find full satisfaction in Jesus first and foremost, and admit that I don't need a husband, then the lord would find no need to have me get married. silly? yes.
the lord has been showing me what it is to be the woman He created me to be. fully satisfied with where i am right now, instead of being so ready to move on, find my husband, be done with school etc. but enjoy the process. the process of becoming the true woman that god intended me to be. women are not born women. we become women when we become who He wants us to be. it takes a lot of yeilding and recognizing that we will not ever be fully satisfied until we realize we are complete in Jesus, and Jesus alone.
God is such a good and gracious God that He gives us all these other pleasures such as marriage, children, frienships, great carreers, wealth...on the side or in addition to our lives. To experience all these pleasures while already satisfied fully in Jesus is the ultimate!!! None of these things without Jesus can fully satisfy you. To be on the road of finding full satisfaction in these elements will only leave your heart lonely and dissatisfied.
every year that has gone by that I have yet to find my husband, ive become a little more hopeless.
I always remember my mom telling me when i was a little girl that "No man will ever complete you". sure they bring joy, fun, etc. but only full satisfaction comes from Jesus FIRST. i thought she was crazy. but the older i become, the more i realize how true this is.
I cannot wait for the day I am introduced to my husband and get to marry my best friend. He will be the cherry on top of the chocolate peanut butter sundae :) Its normal to think this way. god designed us to be this way. The thought of advancing the kingdom of God with my husband makes me smile among all the other joys that come with marriage and intimate relationship.
As for now, I am truely enjoying where I am in my life. For the first time in a while, I am content, happy, and thriving with where I am. Seriously just loving this stage in my life. Being a student, having a relatively easy job where I get to serve people everyday, helping with Source, developing new friendships, training for 1/2 marathon.. etc. the pleasures and joy that the little things in life bring.
I am breaking my alabaster box at the feet of Jesus. because He is worth it, He deserves it. Everyday pressing into God to be the woman he created and destined me to be. proverbs 31 woman of dilligence, faith, purity, security, contentment, and patience.
He has good things for those who wait. so just love and enjoy the process he is taking you on.
once you experience this revelation, everything changes. :) how exciting.
