Yes love. love is on the brain. ...
Today i watched the movie "Letters to Juliet". and wow. it was so good. i came home giddy and of course anticipating my love story to begin... how can you not watch a romantic love story and not be excited to meet your soulmate? :) yes. i am a romantic who loves sappy love stories. and yes i thrive on love. its just the way God made me. i love watching two people fall in love, love seeing a couple who has been together for fifty years holding hands and walking down the street.. its only beautiful and timeless. and the thing that gets me the most is the scene with the bride and groom who are about to get married... there is nothing more choking and emotional to me than seeing the groom wait for his bride to walk down the aisle. he waits with a passion and an anticipation that can only be described by the look in his eyes. as he see's his long awaited bride walk down the aisle, his passion grows and can hardly be contained. you can see it in both the bride and the grooms eyes. the moment they have both waited for has finally come. the bride walking, pure as can be, in the dress that makes her feel the most beautiful she has ever felt.. and the groom just stares.. and smiles.. and they look at eachother and realize this is the moment they will commit the rest of their days to and with eachother. how amazing is this...
both you and i will or already have had this most special moment happen. but if you are a lover of God, yes, will happen in heaven.. Yes, Jesus, your husband is waiting for you. He is standing at the end of the alter just waiting and anticipating your arrival to the church, waiting for the doors to fling open and waiting to see His beautiful spotless bride walk down the aisle.. oh yes. brings tears to your eyes? mine too.
Song of Songs 4
"you have stolen my heart, with just one glance of your eyes.. yes". this says it all. Jesus, is just waiting for you to look at Him and be forever captivated by His eyes of love.
this is the picture i saw as I was thinking about this. i pictured it and it was me walking down the aisle in my white dress, and He was waiting for me. I just began crying as I pictured this.. there is nothing more amazing than thinking that the love of your life is waiting for you. the love of my life is the creator of the universe! after all the times He pursued me, and woed me, and I fell in love. and then I fell away and took interest in everything but Him, but He still called me by name and pursued me daily and said "nothing you do or do not do will take my love away from you. Come away my love, I have plans for you, its not too late, its gonna be full of me". This is Jesus! this is my husband!
I took His and and as He took mine i realized everything about this was perfect. as soon as i walked to Him, He said " can I have this dance". and I said Yes. This was my Yes for eternity. I said Yes to Jesus, my lover, my husband, my best friend. and we will forever dance into all eternity.
love is a beautiful thing. whether it is two people falling in love or falling in dancing the eternal dance with Jesus ... we were all made to love. :)
living in beauty requires much waiting, and much time. My gaze is directed towards the face of God. the longer i wait for my love story to begin, the more my heart is enlarged. I have learned throughout this waiting period that God does not always give me what I want when I want it. and yes, it is sometimes painful. but the more I wait, the more heightened, the more delightful it is to picture the moment I am waiting for.
For I am awakened.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
the lord wants me to write again... okay God:)
two years since i've written. God told me I need to begin writing again, so I said okay.. and the joy in writing has come and I love it! This time I am not writing on the beautiful enchanting island of Maui, or the remote jungles of Indonesia or from a little cyber cafe in thailand. I am sitting in my home, writing from my desktop listening to the most beautiful sound ever created.. voices being raised as they worship the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. :)
Alot has happened over the last two years. I came home to minnesota from the best six months of my life trusting that the Lord would reveal His plan to me. I struggled with making the decision to commit the next two years of my life to staff for ywam. i ended up turning down the opportunity, my dream, due to fear. my heart, and my passion is for women. restoring value, beauty and worth that has been stolen from them throughout their lives. so i was praying about my next step and i felt the Lord was calling me into cosmetology. doing hair. really? i never saw myself as the type to do hair.. i thought I would always be a nurse, or do business, something I could define myself by with having an education.. but God had other plans... I enrolled in school in September 2009 and graduated March 2010.
School was exciting but also the hardest year of my life. Rediscovering what the world, the beauty industry, is like, entering into an environment where smoking, drinking and sex is the norm. Struggling to remember my identity is in the Lord and not outward appearance. it was a life of competition everyday in body image, fashion, talent, etc.
This was when relationship and growth with the Lord skyrocketed. Even though I constantly felt like I was being dragged down in this cosmetology lifestyle, I realize now this is when I sought the Lord the hardest and the more I seeked Him the more I found Him and the more I found Him the more I could say No and walk away from the daily temptations.
I had the best most God-divine friends I could ask for. I had been praying for them 4 months before I even came home. God immediately within a month of coming back to Rochester put them in my lives. I thank God for my beautiful friends that stood with me over the last 1 1/2 years through the best and worse times of my life.:) divine.
So this leads to what am I doing now?
Well, my heart aches and burns to be back in the missions field. I long to be back in the most remote jungles, just loving, serving, praying and reaching people from every culture, tribe and tongue. I feel led to go to Tijuana Mexico for a missions trip this summer that is being hosted by Bethel. I am praying for finances to come together. Trip costs $350 and then I need a plane ticket to go. I would ask that you would agree with me in praying for provision for this trip! I am also hoping to be a counselor for a signs and wonders children's camp this summer at lake geneva. so there are some exciting ministry doors the lord is bringing me into this summer. YAY!
But for now, I am serving... at bakers square.. :) serving people in this manner, doing what I can. praying to find a job in a salon when the timing is right. excited to hold my shears again, and help another person see the beauty the Lord has given them:)
Running everyday, right now i am running about three miles a day, and working my way back up to seven. love running. it gets me away from realities of my life for a little while. Keeping my eyes fixed on the goal and run and run and run until i get there.
I have found a new joy in painting. i love it. love letting the Lord move my hand and paint the picture He wants to paint. I am saying "pick me up like a paintbrush.. dip your paintbrust and paint the colors of my life.
It has been one of the hardest seasons of my life. I am finally learning to let go of my control issues. because there are these circumstances in my life that I can no longer control or change, the only thing I can do is sit back, pray, hope and believe for the thing i am hoping for and say "okay lord" this is your battle not mine. He is fighting for me:)
So there is a little update of my life over the last two years. going for a run now:) Stay tuned for more!
that is all for now:)
Alot has happened over the last two years. I came home to minnesota from the best six months of my life trusting that the Lord would reveal His plan to me. I struggled with making the decision to commit the next two years of my life to staff for ywam. i ended up turning down the opportunity, my dream, due to fear. my heart, and my passion is for women. restoring value, beauty and worth that has been stolen from them throughout their lives. so i was praying about my next step and i felt the Lord was calling me into cosmetology. doing hair. really? i never saw myself as the type to do hair.. i thought I would always be a nurse, or do business, something I could define myself by with having an education.. but God had other plans... I enrolled in school in September 2009 and graduated March 2010.
School was exciting but also the hardest year of my life. Rediscovering what the world, the beauty industry, is like, entering into an environment where smoking, drinking and sex is the norm. Struggling to remember my identity is in the Lord and not outward appearance. it was a life of competition everyday in body image, fashion, talent, etc.
This was when relationship and growth with the Lord skyrocketed. Even though I constantly felt like I was being dragged down in this cosmetology lifestyle, I realize now this is when I sought the Lord the hardest and the more I seeked Him the more I found Him and the more I found Him the more I could say No and walk away from the daily temptations.
I had the best most God-divine friends I could ask for. I had been praying for them 4 months before I even came home. God immediately within a month of coming back to Rochester put them in my lives. I thank God for my beautiful friends that stood with me over the last 1 1/2 years through the best and worse times of my life.:) divine.
So this leads to what am I doing now?
Well, my heart aches and burns to be back in the missions field. I long to be back in the most remote jungles, just loving, serving, praying and reaching people from every culture, tribe and tongue. I feel led to go to Tijuana Mexico for a missions trip this summer that is being hosted by Bethel. I am praying for finances to come together. Trip costs $350 and then I need a plane ticket to go. I would ask that you would agree with me in praying for provision for this trip! I am also hoping to be a counselor for a signs and wonders children's camp this summer at lake geneva. so there are some exciting ministry doors the lord is bringing me into this summer. YAY!
But for now, I am serving... at bakers square.. :) serving people in this manner, doing what I can. praying to find a job in a salon when the timing is right. excited to hold my shears again, and help another person see the beauty the Lord has given them:)
Running everyday, right now i am running about three miles a day, and working my way back up to seven. love running. it gets me away from realities of my life for a little while. Keeping my eyes fixed on the goal and run and run and run until i get there.
I have found a new joy in painting. i love it. love letting the Lord move my hand and paint the picture He wants to paint. I am saying "pick me up like a paintbrush.. dip your paintbrust and paint the colors of my life.
It has been one of the hardest seasons of my life. I am finally learning to let go of my control issues. because there are these circumstances in my life that I can no longer control or change, the only thing I can do is sit back, pray, hope and believe for the thing i am hoping for and say "okay lord" this is your battle not mine. He is fighting for me:)
So there is a little update of my life over the last two years. going for a run now:) Stay tuned for more!
that is all for now:)
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