I'm in Thailand!!!

I arrived in thailand at 3:30 in the morning yesterday after about 30 hours of traveling time! my first time being in a foreign country besides australia and I am in culture shock! this city of bangkok is unbelievable! everything about it is so different and i love it.
i already have such a heart for these peope. this country. yesterday as we were walking around bangkok in the markets we saw this beggar lady so we bought her a shake and gave it to her and the smile on her face was priceless. that is what i wanna live for. serving god. serving others. myself last. i just wanna love those who don't know what love is. speak for those who don't have a voice. God is changing me continously and showing me things in a new light.
today we toured four different buddhist temples. these temples are unbelievable. as i watched hundreds and hundreds of people bowing down to these false gods i started crying. what kind of fullfillment or satisfaction is there in that? but god began to speak to me and tell me that this is a way of life for people that has been passed down from generation to generation. they dont know any different. they are scared to jump into something new. there was such a demonic spirit of darkness over these temples. i can even feel it in the air. thailand is 95% buddhist and 1% muslim. can you believe it? my prayer is that God's presence would be stronger than any other demonic presence in this country. may I be a walking testimony of Christ and the Holy Spirit dwell inside of me. please pray for the oppressed people of thailand. may there eyes and ears be open to God's presence.
there is so much to say right now but i am running out of time. i'll write more the next time.
i love you and miss you all!
maryssa

two days....

ahhh this week has been full of craziness. a million different emotions piling high as we began packing for outreach! wow. i'd never felt so many emotions up and down all at once. it feels like just yesterday i was arriving here in maui and already we are leaving in 2 days for outreach. i broke down and cried so many times. not even sure why. its so hard to say goodbye to all my friends here. not being able to call home for three months will be so hard. im going to a foreign country where there will be noo comfort whatsoever. its so hard to leave the comforts of maui and the ability to call home everyday and internet.. dont get me wrong i am totally excited for everything to come, but its hard to say goodbye to the last couple months and hello to the next 3 months. but god says to rejoice in trials and sufferings. so i am rejoicing for i will be blessed. i leave for thailand at 4:15 in the morning on wednesday and will be having around 30 hours of travel time and we will be there for ten days. in bangkok thailand we will be going on temple tours and working with the red light distric. we will have a couple days of free time where there is lots of fun stuff and shopping to do. after those ten days, my team will travel to pontianak indonesia where we will begin outreach! it will be the hardest three months i've ever expereienced in my life but i am so ready to go out and do what god brought me here to do! its exciting and terrifying at the same time. please pray for strength for me and my team as this outreach will be extremely tiring and challenging especially in the high heat in Borneo. pray that he will give us strength when we feel we can't go on. pray for team unity. pray that god will use us abundantly. pray that the people of borneo will be open to what we have to say. pray that we will have favor with the indonesians! pray that all of us will give 500% effort 100% of the time. we are here to invest in the indonesians and pour love out on them!
I am so excited for this! thanks for all those who supported me. comments are great. i will update as much as possible although internet will be a rare occasion in borneo! i love and miss you all and am so excited to see you in the summer!
p.s. please pray that god will give me direction and guidance for what i am going to do after my DTS. i feel like He is calling me to come back here for a staff position but i really wanna be 100% sure that that is his will for my life! im up and willing to do whatever he has for me!
love you!

my heart breaks.

After two months of praying for God's heart for the nations and for the lost, He has finally given his heart to me. It breaks. for the first time in my life my heart is truely breaking for the lost and for those who know of Him but choose not to follow Him. It hurts. Its overwhelming. I feel such a heaviness. this must be what God feels second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, year after year. His heart breaks. His heart grieves. He weeps over us. He watches us do our own thing day after day and it grieves Him. For the past three nights He has kept me awake. i haven't slept. my appetite is gone. its to the point where nothing else matters but persistent steadfast prayer, intercession and fasting until I see the many people He has laid on my heart come to know Jesus. its sad that it took this long for me to feel the heart of God and to feel what he feels. breaking point. tears. don't know what to do except to pray until I see change.
in 9 days we leave for thailand. on april 7th my team will be arriving in Malaysia and then heading into the jungles of Borneo to minster to villages. please pray for us. pray for team unity, health, protection and most of all that God will use us beyond our imagination to reach the lost. minister hope to the hopeless. love the unloved. heal the sick... i am so excited to get out there and do what God has called me into. not gonna lie.. kinda scared. but thats okay. God is with us always.
i love you all and miss you!
maryssa

me and elias. (the base director's son) so adorable.




shawna and me.

hangin out.

on the top of a mountain...


borneooo girls at ohana coffeenight last night.

calla lauren and me!


me and dan ohana night.

just me. on our porch outside our room.

me and lauren.

time is running out. two weeks and i will be in Thailand.. wow. im taking a deep breath. in about 3 weeks i will be in indo... wow even bigger breath. finding it hard to believe that ywam is half over already. crazy thought. an even crazier thought is thinking how unreal it is that i'll be spending the next three months in the villages of Borneo! wow. ha.
well god has been so faithful and amazing. been dealing with a lot of wounds. lies from the enemy. judgements. last week was new hearts week. very emotional. crazy. dealing with a lot of pain from relationships in my past that have destroyed a lot of who i am. just trying to recover. not going into much detail. kinda personal. allowing god to do what he has to do to heal and restore me. just the beginning. a lifetime ahead of healing and restoring that has to take place. still an emotional wreck at times. but its good. it means that god is still bringing things up in my life. lovin the changes. praying for more. becoming the woman he created me to be. not there yet. still striving.
prayer and fasting. its a lifestyle. it should become a lifestyle. god told me to fast once a week for the people i love. this is war. spiritual warfare. fighting against the enemy. will NOT let him win. pray and fast till i see change. god is faithful and he will continue to prove himself faithful. praise god. thank you lord. wont stop praying. wont stop fasting. wont stop interceding for change.
got baptized a week ago. in the pacific ocean. pretty powerful. awesome. fun. waves were 10-15 feet high. body surfed the waves for the rest of the afternoon.
i love the lord with all my heart. praise him for the great things he has been doing in my life. only the beginning of an amazing journey with my savior.
miss home so much. love you all. cant wait to see your faces again in july.

get this.

God is not deaf to the cries of the 750 million will go to sleep every night with their stomachs gnawed with hunger.
He knows the name of everyone of the 20 million children will curl up to sleep on the pavements of South American cities tonight.
He wept over the 40,000 children died yesterday from hunger.
He sees the 21 will die of hunger by the time you finish reading this sentence.
He watches the 900 million around the world sleep in shanties of cardboard or scraps of tin and the 100 million lie down and will have no roof over their heads.
He weeps over the 100,000 die everyday without having heard the His name.
He knows by name of every individual among the 2.5 billion worldwide are still waiting to hear the gospel.
these are heart-wrenching stats. breaks my heart. this world is in desperate need of a savior. desperate need for people like you and me to rise up and pray. intercede. fast. get on our faces. nothing ele matters. for those who are hurting, oppressed and unreached. gods heart breaks for these people. so does mine.

i am ready.

god is so good.
seeing and feeling his unconditional love for me for the first time in my life. still grasping onto it and living in amazement because His love is so real and indescribable.
learning what love is and what love isnt.
hitchiking and getting rides from strangers in Paia and Kahului and being able to share god's love with them in the car. opportunties to pray for healing, preach the gospel, encourage, love and set forth an example of who Jesus is all in a 15 minute car ride. watching them wait in wonder and question more and more as we tell them about Christ. what an awesome open door.
hurting as my heart aches for these people in this lost and fallen world. praying. interceding. fasting. crying out to God to win the souls of this lost world and win this battle against the enemy.
becoming ALIVE because god has truely set me free. he set me free from the lies of the enemy that i've believed all my life. learning and seeing how detrimental the lies of the enemy really are to my life. being able to look in the mirror for the first time and believe and know that what God says about me is true.
passionate about this world. these nations.
ready to see change before my eyes. ready to see god move back at home. ready to see god move in Indo. ready to do whatever god asks me to do.
im bare and lying naked before him in full and total surrender.
i surrender it all to him because he surrendered it all for me.
desperate. hungry. thirsty for more. not satisfied. need more. want more. need more. never satisfied. wont be satisfied.
its hard to believe but in 24 days I leave for Bangkok Thailand. ready for red light district.
34 days we will be in Borneo. ready to be used as a vessel. ready for the never ending 10 hour vehicle rides sitting on the tops of cars, riding in the back of pickups for hours on end, c crazy rides on motorcycles. five hour boat rides down narrow rivers in tiny skinny canoes. ready for the 110 degree days daily. ready for the many many house visits. ready to bathe in the muddy rivers, maybe not get to shower at all. ready to sleep on the ground and get eaten alive by mosquitoes.ready to eat things like python, dog, squirrel, crocodile and chicken face. ready to work and push myself till i feel like i can't do anymore until i cry out to god for more strength.ready to face my worst fear of snakes. ready to not be able to call home for three months. ready to do whatever it takes,
ready for all night prayer.ready to preach the gospel. ready to intercede. ready to share my testimony. ready to pray for healing. ready to play with kids who long for love and affection. ready to minister worth and value to hurting women. ready to pour out love and just serve these hurting and oppressed people.
why? because god called me here. he called me to be a missionary. i am a missionary right now right here right then.
i long to see change. i long to see healing.restoration. people running to Jesus. long to see women see themselves the way that jesus sees them.
ready to step out in faith. trust in god fully. embrace him and everything he has for me.
i am a missionary.
im going out there with a smile on my face because thats where he called me to.
what an amazing privelage this is.
god is so good.

Walking barefoot.

Aloha!!!
I've had some really amazing refreshing times with the Lord this week.
Well last night as I was having my quiet time with the Lord I felt His presence in such a powerful way it almost moved me to tears. I was reading the book "Making Jesus Lord" ( I recommend you read this book) and what I was reading just hit me so hard. I would really like to share some things out of this book that is changing my life and stirring up more of a passion to know about Jesus in my heart.
In Chapter 2 of this book Loren Cunningham (the author and founder of YWAM) is talking about walking barefoot. Jesus walked barefoot to Calvary. The significance of this is in Jesus's time was that if you walked barefoot it meant you were a slave. A slave had no rights. In the burning presence of God Moses was asked to give up his rights. Jesus became a slave for our sakes. Jesus freely surrendered all of His rights for us. He surrendered the right to a normal birth, the right to marriage and to be with His earthly family, the right to money ( he once had to ask someone to borrow a coin for a sermon illustration), his reputation, but it goes even further than that. Jesus surrendered the right to a normal death. He gave up the right to life itself and became obediant to death on a cross, it was a death reserved for the worst criminals of our day. He was burried in a borrowed tomb, than He tore away His very last right by descending to the depths of Hell itself.
As I was reading this last night I had this unexplainable feeling because I felt like I was hearing this for the first time in my life. It hit me in a way I just can't explain. Jesus gave up everything so you and I could have it all. Jesus wants us to follow him walking barefoot, losing our rights and gaining the world. Only by taking Jesus' example into every part of our lives will we be able to win in life, ruling and reiging in Him.
So this is how it works, God gives us rights, the right to a family, to have good things and many other basic blessings. God is asking us to give Him back these rights because its the only way we can truely express our love back to Him. Being barefoot is the sign of humility, of having given up all. To go barefoot, God promises possession of the nations, to rule and reign with Jesus, the returning King of kings Lord of Lords!