Radical Abandonment to Christ.

Sitting here in Kona taking it all in. Everywhere I turn I am surrounded by pure beauty, He is all around me.tStill waking up every morning asking myself am I really here? How blessed I am that He chose me and called me into a place where I can worship Him, Intercede, Pray, Dive deep into the word and discover more about my Savior and Fall more in love with Him everyday and be discipled and equipped to reach the nations in a 24/7 setting! How blessed I am that He chose me to to go to Thailand, Malaysia, Brunei and Borneo to teach villages about God's love and pour out kindness and comfort to these lost and hurting people. How can I do that when I have selfish desires? As I was sitting in the harbor tonight staring at the crashing waves I thinking and talking to God and I was telling Him how I am Not satisfied right now. I want and long for more of Him. But He told me I need to repent and change a lot of things in my life. So this is what He laid on my heart and told me to do and change in my life.
I pray that I can love everyone around me like God loves us. I pray I can see the hearts of people like God sees our hearts.Today I felt like I really needed to repent for being selfish and for at times for being prejudiced against certain people. I have missed out on so many opportunities to reach out to people because of a dumb prejudgment. Too often I think about me, what are my needs? I pray that I will begin to see everyone else's needs before my own. I pray for the heart of a servant to serve others gladly and unselfishly. I pray that automatically I will put others before myself. I don't want to be selfish anymore. I pray for tears, I pray God will break me.I pray for forgiveness because I have been desensitized to the evils and wickedness of this world, so I pray for tears and grief when I hear of the wickedness and I pray for the heart of an intercessor. I pray that God will give me His heart of the nations and everywhere around me.I ask that God tell me whats on His heart and mind so I can pray and intercede for others as God is always praying and interceding for us. I cry out to God and ask Him to give me His passions for the nations so that I can pray for what is on His heart. I pray and cry out for dreams and visions in the middle of the night, I cry out to hear God's voice, I ask for pictures and names and prophetic words for this city and for my outreach locations. I cry out for open doors in the community, at the mall, at wal-mart, in the streets of Paia, everywhere. I pray for the stamp of Jesus on my forehead so that everywhere I go Jesus will be seen in me. I want to die to myself. I pray for a bigger passion for Jesus because passionless Christianity is worthless and is no threat to the devil. I pray for radical abandonment for Christ. Without abandonment to God, our hearts sink into restlessness, boredom and frustration. If we have nothing to die for we have nothing to live for. I am so desperate for more. I am desperate for an intimate relationship with my Savior.
I am willing to step out of my comfort zone and allow God to take me into places I never would have dreamed of. I wanna be in a place where sleeping and eating don't matter. I wanna be in that place where God is more important than anything and everything. Radical Abandonment to Christ. Sold out for Jesus. Am I willing to fast and pray and get on our knees and pray for God's heart, pray for revival, cry out and weep for the nations, pray for healing, deliverance, salvation? I wanna be at that point in my relationship with God where nothing else matters. I want to say yes to all of these.